Folks, you are looking live at another glorious Saturday of college football. It is even more glorious thanks to the fact that it is SHOWDOWN SATURDAY or RIVALRY SATURDAY or SOMETHING ELSE SATURDAY or WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL IT SATURDAY!  Ohio State is currently trailing Michigan, and generic Big Ten action can only mean one thing: once again, we have put another edition of College Gameday (built by the Home Depot obv) into the official record books.  This week’s edition was coming at you like from Memorial Coliseum in LA for the big matchup between the #1 undefeated Notre Dame Fighting Irish and the unranked (ha) USC Trojans.  Our experts are sitting at 12-4 in favor of Notre Dame over USC in the picking game, so gamblers take note.  We opened up the show with Chris Fowler welcoming us to a dark morning in LA along with Desmond, David and Herbie.  After the opening segment, Fowler went back to the bus to take a nap while Samantha Steele took over hosting duties as always.  After being on an incredible winning streak with her outfits, she had a setback with her outfit this week.  Not too bad, but previous weeks were outstanding.

Samantha Steele: Week 13

Things we learned in the early hour include the fact that Desmond Howard really enjoys kicking Herbie in the crotch by calling the Buckeyes merely “Ohio”.  Over and over.  I think Herbie was starting to get a little bit irritated before this passed.  It was somewhat of a slow hour on ESPNU to start things off.  We got a replay of Tom Rinaldi’s piece about losing from last week.  We got a little bit of TODD MCSHAY LOOKING AT THE TAPE!  He was breaking down Florida State’s EJ Manuel and talked in generic fashion about his mechanics and reminded us that Todd McShay is a draft guru who likes looking at the tape.  Honestly there wasn’t much of note other than previewing games, and you didn’t come here to read my opinion about their game previews.  For that reason, I will present the following picture from Samantha Steele’s twitter account for no real reason.

“He must have seen something shiny” -Sam Steele

We also got some early morning picks from Davey and Des.  To nobody’s surprise, David went with Georgia over Georgia Tech.  Desmond picked Michigan over Ohio St.  The beaver train has run out of steam, as both guys picked the Ducks over Oregon State.  As for today’s big matchup, they both went with Notre Dame over USC.  Let’s move on to the big show on ESPN.  We sent Samantha Steele to the bus and sent David Pollack to go use the internet, and this week he was tweeting with the rubes in Trojan headgear next to the statues outside of the stadium.  Oh David Pollack, what will you come up with next?

David Pollack: Internet user

We were joined once again by Kirk Herbstreit, and Lee Corso joined the show as things took off on ESPN.  We were reminded that Lee Corso is 19-0 all time when picking a game USC is involved in for his headgear pick.  Gamblers, take note.  Quickly, we will touch on signs of the day.  Notable signs included “MOM THE MEATLOAF” and “Bring back the Los Angeles Rams”.  However, the sign of the week was indisputable.

Hint: Over his shoulder

Now that I have fully acknowledged my immaturity, I would like to take a moment to editorialize about something (as opposed to whatever the rest of this is that I do).  Every week on Gameday, they do a quick segment coming back from a commercial break about the signs in the crowd.  They highlight some clever signs and we all sing along with “Signs” by Tesla, and then we get the SIGN OF THE DAY!  And every week I get my hopes up that the sign of the day might actually be funny or clever.  And every week it is some crapass sign like today’s which read “05 Bush Push – Revenge is sweet”.  Thank you for wasting my time.  Another thing related to this is these two goobers known as Will and Ravi who present the sign of the day.  I’m sure you’ve seen them before, but for those of you who don’t know, I will review.  Will and Ravi are “two diehard college football fans” who were “selected” to do wacky segments every week to make it to this week’s game.  Or as I like to call it, two out of work improv actors who auditioned and won a spot doing forced schtick on Gameday.  I’ve about had it with Will and Ravi, do you hear me Lee Fitting?  End rant.

A very exciting development was a special bonus segment (at least for fans of “David Pollack Using the Internet”) which was LEE CORSO USING THE INTERNET!  Desmond Howard was trying to teach Coach Corso how to use an iPhone to play Cornhole Challenge.  It was quite amusing to see Coach Corso playing with this colorful gadget with moving pictures and sounds.

Lee Corso: New internet user

This week’s “Beatnik Poetry with Tom Rinaldi” was entitled “Rivalry”.  Tom Rinaldi told us things in quiet-talk like how rivalry week is more than another week on the schedule, it is a brutal ritual, and it is 60 minutes that lasts 365 days.  Very deep stuff.  Now let’s make sure to get Tom Rinaldi’s name plastered all over this 30 second montage and move on.

Tom Rinaldi performing live

The highlight of all of the segments today was this week’s Tebow Memorial segment about Anthony Starego.  Anthony is a senior in higschool and the varsity kicker for Brick High School in New Jersey.  He is also autistic, and functions in school at the level of a ten year old.  He is maybe the biggest Rutgers fan out there, and it was the 2006 Rutgers fieldgoal win over Louisville that inspired him to be a kicker.  As his parents described, he thrives  at Rutgers football games when they attend.  We learned how the routine and repetition of being a kicker helps him both on and off the field, and how he once kicked the winning fieldgoal against a big state rival which was pretty amazing.  This young man, who can kick them from 50 yards out, is going to petition to be given another year of eligibility to continue kicking while he continues his special needs education.  Quite an amazing story.

We were then treated to a FOURTH Tom Rinaldi piece about Notre Dame coach Brian Kelly.  Upon his hire at Notre Dame, a long time fan loaned Coach Kelly a football signed by Coaches Holtz and Parseghian (the last two coaches to win a championship at Notre Dame).  He was loaned this ball with the expectation that he would return it with his own autograph added after they win a championship.  The ball sits in Kelly’s office, and is great motivation for him and his team.  He’s just not so sure that if they win a championship that he will be able to give it back to its owner that easily.  Another good piece, but I think we’ve heard about enough from quiet-talking Tom Rinaldi after four segments by him.  It seems that his presence increases every week.  Someday in the distant future, College Gameday will likely be the three-hour “Tom Rinaldi Show” with special guests Desmond Howard on location, David Pollack via satellite hookup from the retirement home, Grandpa Herbie, Chris Fowler clone #3, and hologram Lee Corso making headgear picks.

Speaking of picks, its about that time.  The full slate of picks can be found HERE, HERE and HERE for those interested.  This week’s pick segment had celebrity guest and overly handsome man Landon Donovan on hand to give us his thoughts on things.  Let me rewind a bit, to when we were getting picks from Desmond Howard.  Desmond went on and on about how if Auburn can keep the Iron Bowl close, they could upset Bama.  This went on and on, and Herbie was quite amused by Desmond’s string of “if this” and “if that” before telling us that he’s still picking Bama over Auburn

Tell us more how you love Auburn before picking Bama

Anyways, as we mentioned earlier, Coach Corso is 19-0 when picking a game USC is involved in for his headgear pick.  Landon Donovan went with Notre Dame to everyone’s surprise, since most celebrity guests go with the home crowd.  But what about Lee Corso?  Would he pick the Trojans? Would he put on the leprechaun suit for the second time this year?  He pulled out the Trojan helmet to a roar of applause before throwing it to the side and putting on the Leprechaun fedora.  He then went into full Fighting Irish mode posing for the camera as the show closed out.

Corso picks the Irish!